NSV: Non Scale Victory: My Scale Doesn't Always Show my Progress... DEFINITELY TRUE!

NSV:  I've been feeling frustrated with my lack of visible progress, so I went and looked back through some of the first pages in my workout notebook... Wow.  I had forgotten some things.  My first week at the gym, I couldn't make it 8 minutes on the elliptical (and that was with a 5 minute WARM UP!) and was literally in tears, feeling like a failure.  I could only do squats with a 30lb dumbbell and split squats with NO weight nearly killed me.  I pulled my back out seriously within the first few days of my workout and was out for three and a half weeks...

And yet, I still went back.  I started again.  I have to admit, I wore a big baggy sweatshirt to the gym ALWAYS.  I couldn't look in the mirror and I left the gym those first few weeks feeling like I would never see a change.  I was in tears more often than not as I left.

BUT I KEPT GOING.  Six months later:
My 55lb bench press is now 110#for three sets of 10.
My deadlift of 40lbs is now 110 for 3 sets of 8
My ZERO weighted hip thrusts are now done with 70lbs
My lat pulldown of 70lbs is now 120 for 3 sets of 8
My cable rows went from 50 to 100lbs
My 1 arm DB row went from 20 to 40lbs

At many times in my life, those first few weeks would have made me give up.  I am so glad that I didn't let those set backs keep me from progressing.  I'm continually learning, I'm continually getting stronger and I feel really proud of my accomplishments.  I love getting strong and feeling better about myself.  If I can do it... anyone can.

And then I have to remind myself that I HAVE seen a LOT of physical changes.  I may have stalled currently on the weight loss, but I need to remember that for me, anyway, my weight loss always seems to do that.  I build and build and then suddenly *BOOM* there is a sudden drop in weight and body fat.  That's just how my body works.

Besides, there is something to be said for going from someone who was too ashamed to go out in public without sweats and a hoodie to cover herself up... to the woman rocking this dress:

I also want to note that without my workout partner (especially Marie), I wouldn't have been able to keep up with this.  It is SO great to have a workout partner and I encourage you to find someone to workout with, if you don't already have someone!

Just Because I've Decided to Love Myself NOW, DOES NOT Mean That I'm Giving Up.

I think that although I haven't 'given up' on an aesthetic ideal by any means, I HAVE decided to focus more on my mental/emotional side AND getting stronger/building muscle FIRST. I want to give myself time to heal from my disordered thinking and self loathing that I've suffered with for most of my life. I deserve better. I've made it my goal to lift heavy 4 times a week or more for six months solid, and THEN worry about aesthetics again if I want/need to. The muscle will help a LOT with fat loss, and having the time to learn to love myself will help me feel better in every way.

I used to always think that if I could just get thin enough FIRST, THEN I could learn to love myself. Too many failed attempts (and even getting lean!) didn't help me love myself. I think I had it backwards and I have nothing to lose by loving myself first.

So here is my priority: Stronger, Healthier, Learn to Love myself. Revisit in a few months to see where I am.

I'm tired of the habit I've had of always thinking that "I will love myself when I lose x amount of pounds".  No.  I deserve to love myself NOW.  I wouldn't want my children to think that way, and I don't deserve to feel that way any longer either.  Neither do you.

Weight, Size, Self Image... Now & Then

I am ASTOUNDED at how much the numbers don't bother me anymore.

For shits and giggles, I looked up my BMI. Because I have so much muscle, I knew it would show me as overweight, but I was surprised to see that it considers me not only OBESE, but I'll have to lose FIFTEEN more pounds before I'm "just" overweight. I have always found the BMI scale to be ridiculous, and this is just affirmation. I may be overweight, but the hell if I'm obese. Bitch, please!

Anyway... it just made me shake my head.

Speaking of "weight" I BENCHED 100 pounds TEN TIMES last night!!! I had to take it back down to 95 for my last two sets of ten, but it was pretty much supersets with less than 10 seconds rest, so I was going to TOWN, baby!!! Actually, I saw that the guy had left weights on the bar and I forgot that the bar weighs 45lbs, so I was thinking I'd just do a warm up set. When I lifted it, I thought, "Damn, this feels heavier than 55lbs!" and it wasn't until half way through the set that I remembered the bar weight :) I thought I was being a total weak ass.

So now I'm up to 100 lbs for at least one set of ten in dead lifts, lat pull downs, cable rows and bench press (probably decline bench, too, but I'm not sure). 

I feel SO STRONG, PEOPLE!!!

I found this skirt in my closet and posted an old pic on facebook. Friends were saying, "wow, you've lost weight!" and then I had to say... um, no. Old pic. Anyway, then I was curious as to how different I'd look in it now. 

The photo on the right is from January, 2011. I weighed around 140 pounds (I'm 5'5") and was wanting to lose 'those last ten pounds', but I was happy with my body. I was teaching pump & Zumba, working out 5 times a week and eating clean at least 80% of the time.

In June of that year, after an INCREDIBLY stressful few weeks, I suddenly started gaining weight like crazy, in spite of no changes to my workout routine or my eating habits.

Less than a year later, I had gained 70 pounds and I was miserable, exhausted, my joints ached and I just felt like crying ALL THE TIME. After trying everything I could think of, I finally started trying the medical route. I had no insurance, so it was hit and miss. I was patronized and treated horribly by some doctors. Some doctors refused to test my thyroid because they were convinced that I just needed "to exercise more and stop eating junk". THEY WOULD NOT HEAR ME.

After another 9-10 months of searching, I finally found a doctor who listened... actually listened and he put me on Armour thyroid medicine. The weight did not drop off, BUT all of the other symptoms disappeared. My joints stopped hurting, the unbearable fatigue stopped and I had the most important thing... HOPE.

I have been working out since mid January and I am getting back to it. I am still 50 pounds heavier in the second photo than I am in the first, but I am on my way, and this time my strength is the goal, not being "thin". Because I'm building muscle this time around, I don't think I'll get back to the old look exactly... I'm hoping for some muscles in those arms! I want the biceps and shoulders... and I am on my way!

Going Forward... the 2nd 12 Weeks of my transformation.

My 42nd birthday is July 23rd... I have Goals to reach by then!

That will be just a little bit past my second "12 Week" mark.  I have some goals that I want to meet, but mostly I want to make some new changes and habits.

During my first 12 weeks, I wanted to (A) Lose Fat & (B) Get Healthier.

I managed to:

1. Stop drinking alcohol (once a month instead of every night)
2. Stop eating grains (a 6 month goal, at which point I will gradually add them back in to see what/if anything bothers me digestive-wise)
3. Eat "Clean" six days a week (The main change for ME: cut out grains, sugar & artificial sweeteners)
4. Eat more protein
5. Celebrate one cheat meal/day a week as I felt I needed it (sometimes I ended up with a day of noshing on this or that, but most often I had one treat for the day and that was plenty!)
6. Workout with weights at least 4 days a week, usually 5-6
7. Increase my strength a LOT!
8. Start falling asleep by 10:00 instead of 1 or 2 am!!!  (this was HUGE!!!)
9. Start taking my supplements & vitamins regularly
10. accomplish a daily fitness/workout challenge every day each month
11. I've lost 17 pounds, went from 41% body fat to 35.7% AND lost lost of inches (around 20)
12. I have more energy, more focus and feel MUCH more comfortable in my own skin.

During my second 12 Weeks, I would like to add a few new habits:

• Try carb cycling
• Eat a LOT more fresh vegetables (spring is in the air!)
• Add in Cardio three times a week (starting with SMALL doses with HIIT on the bike & elliptical)
• Keep up the weight lifting, keep up the challenges and clean eating
• Lose another 17-24 pounds of fat, get down to 30% body fat & lose more inches!!!
• Find a better way to deal with stress

Non fitness related, but because I finally have energy and better focus:

• Paint something each week
• Work on my script formatting at least a few times a week
• Do something special, specifically for my husband each week
• Have a family dinner once a week
• Spend time with the kids doing something physical at least weekly

I will also start posting my workouts here at least when they change. 

Measurements... I've lost 19 inches. Damn.

Well, I went to take pictures today... even though its still over a week away from my 'scheduled' 30 day progress pictures.  I mainly wanted to do it because I have been FEELING so different.  I've been feeling like I'm a lot less "fluffy" and I know I"m gaining more muscle and feeling stronger.

Anyway, the photos didn't impress me compared to last month's photos.  I didn't see ANY changes, and what I did see just depressed me.  I am still depressed that I've gotten this far off track.  THEN I went and compared them to my STARTING or "before" pictures.  That was a little more impressive:

I'm not estatic, but I am proud of the fact that I AM changing my body and getting to where I like it more!  I'm more comfortable in my skin... and that's saying a LOT!

ANYWAY, thankfully I took my measurements BEFORE I looked at the pictures (because that was a bit depressing for me to see, even with the changes, I don't like looking at myself that closely!).  I've lost a little over 19 inches.  It isn't quite THAT amazing, because for SOME odd reason that I can't explain, the last time I measured, I had gained inches in a lot of places, even though I had lost weight.  I don't know...

Here are my measurements:

My body fat % has gone down a lot as well, and I can definitely FEEL a difference.  My weight is going down... and honestly, I'm not hitting it as hard as I could as far as fat loss.  For me, quitting grains and quitting drinking was a HUGE, huge thing.  I'm glad that I've quit and it doesn't have a hold on me.  I have to see that as a HUGE victory.  At the end of my 3 months, I want to regroup and plan to get serious about the HIIT cardio and then I'm sure I'll see faster changes.

For now, I'm going to be okay with slower fat loss (than I expected) because I'm THRILLED with the strength training.  I'm thrilled that I'm gaining muscles and getting stronger.  I'm amazed to see the fat coming off without losing much of anything else.  I'm happy with my progress, I just have to remind myself of that every once in a while.  I'm not one of the "12 week body transformation" type winners this time.  Its okay to do what I can, because I AM DOING A LOT!!!

I really hope that I can get to a place in the next two months where I am happy to put on a swim suit, but that's not my be all, end all goal.  I want to make this a habit that I do even when I don't *feel* like it.

I want this to just be my routine.

I'm going to get better about posting my workouts.  I promise!!!  I'm increasing in strength, I'm adding new workouts, its awesome.  I FEEL like I should be seeing more of a change, but for now, I'm feeling good about the changes that I do see.

• I can lift more
• I don't feel so sore that I can't move for days anymore
• I am sleeping well at night... 
• My clothes are fitting better
• I don't feel all bloated and gross like I did most of the time before... 

its GOOD.  I'm making PROGRESS.

Now I just have to work on my emotional self!

I LOVE Weight Lifting!!!

I'm improving!!!  I did 95# on the decline bench press tonight... I was struggling, but I did 3 sets of ten! That's 20# up from my last time. My husband pushes me so much more than I would push myself!

We got to the dumb bell flyes and K. started with 25# and gave up.  He absolutely couldn't do it, so I gave him 20# and he said he couldn't do it.  So I went and did 10 with the 20# and suddenly he decided he COULD do it after all.  He's SO funny.  Seriously, he's SO comical, between the two of us and our sarcastic sense of humor... it would make a funny show :)  Anyway, I did 3 sets of 10 with the 20# and was barely sweating it, so Kainan had to finish off with two last sets using the 25#.  I gave him such a hard time... he's a good sport about it, thankfully :)

**I think that maybe I shouldn't have said, "Why don't I feel sore anymore when I work out?" this morning when talking to my hubby.

My arms feel a LOT less 'squishy', even though I haven't been able to do but maybe one bicep/tricep workout in the last MONTH due to my elbow.  I think my shoulders are getting more defined, though, and that is helping a bit.  I feel STRONG.  I LOVE IT.  I love the feeling of lifting weights, especially when I go up in weight from one week to the next.  I love it when suddenly something that felt really hard one week suddenly feels easy... I just feel so much more... OOMPH than I have before.

I LOVED doing Zumba and teaching classes.  I loved working up into a big sweaty dripping mess, and I hope to teach again, because encouraging others was awesome as well... but weight lifting is such a different beast.  I am really surprised at how much I like it.  I can do it when I am pissed off, I can do it when I'm happy, I can do it whenever and I can FORCE myself to do it and still push myself.  Its just DIFFERENT.  I'm so SO glad that I started.

I need to post here more and post more updated photos.  I'm seeing changes in ways that I've never seen before.  I'm VERY curious to see how this plays out...

If anyone is reading and has questions, let me know!  I'm hoping to keep updating here at least twice a week.  I am lifting weights 6 days a week this month and getting maybe 2 sessions of HIIT of about 15-20 minutes each week... at best.  I must say, I'm really slacking on the cardio!

Find me on my Fitspiration Over 40 Facebook Page for Daily Challenges and updates!

Parenting & Weight Loss... Not Letting my own past Poison my Daughters' Self Image

Parenting Moment:

My 14 year old daughter has been my most consistent gym companion (my husband was sick last week and injured this week).  It has been really nice to workout with her and have the opportunity to discuss health, body types, self image, fitness and nutrition.  It has been a good opportunity to discuss the difference between people as well.  Body types, fitness goals & strengths,dietary needs, etc.  She is a vegetarian and has recently chosen to cut out sugar (which led to an almost immediate 100% clearing up of her skin!) and I'm a no grains, Paleo leaning type.  

After growing up and struggling with such a severely messed up self/body image, I love that we can discuss all of these things without it having to be a "fat/skinny/attractive" thing, but a health conscious, individual preference and CHOICE.  I love that. Love it.

I don't claim to have done everything 100% in the parenting department, but I think I've done fairly well in this, and I'm really really proud of my kids for taking the initiative on their own to learn more, make a change in their eating habits and take care of themselves.  They are pretty awesome people, even for *gasp* Teenagers!

Me Moment:

I'm still being good about tracking workouts.  (YAY ME!) You can see how I'm switching things up a little.  To be honest, as far as leg workouts go, I was STILL sore from last Wednesday's leg workout, so I chose to mix things up a little bit.  With the little bit of cardio added in tonight, I was dripping with sweat before we were even half done!

I think its a great thing to mix things up "keep the body guessing" ala Gordon on Dodgeball.  I LOVE that movie:)

Day #16: Back & Biceps Adding New Workouts, More Weights...

Day #16:  Back & Biceps  Adding New Workouts, More Weights...

I have to admit I'm feeling a little discouraged from time to time.  I know that I'm improving, but its kind of depressing at the same time that I can't SEE anything.  Then again, yes, I actually can feel a difference when I put on my jeans.  My belly is definitely less... bloated.  I think its that time of the month again, so I'm just feeling extra sensitive to everything.  I HAVE lost weight, but even losing 6-8 pounds and I'm still heavier than I've been before 2012.  It is really difficult for me to adjust to being this big.  I am struggling with feeling *good* about my progress... although I do vacillate between being totally thrilled that my muscles hurt and I know that I'm pushing myself and then feeling like I'm not doing ANYTHING.

Have I mentioned that I'm a teensy bit of a drama queen?  

And I might (just might) be a little bit black & white in my thinking.  

Source: startnow.stockphotosweb.com via Byn on Pinterest

I MUST keep this in mind!!!

And in my case, I think I'm harder on myself, so much so that I might not even notice before friends do!

But, I've managed to NOT pig out, to NOT get chocolate and instead I've stuck with my gym workouts.  I've managed to still keep tracking on my google drive document, and it feels great to see my improvements over even just a few weeks.

I'm planning on keeping this weightlifting workout and adding just a little, increasing my weight gradually.

My thoughts for Phase Two is as follows (not necessarily in any order):

1. Back, Biceps & Abs
2. Legs & Abs
3. Shoulders, Chest & Triceps
4. Full Body Workout (Tabata Style)
5. Rest Day
6. Full Body Workout (Choose one from my Pinterest Board)
7. Rest Day

I am also adding a daily challenge for myself in February.  My goal is to get myself moving in short spurts throughout the day, rather than letting myself get used to sitting on my ass all day before a nice hard workout.

*Daily Challenge  (Get February's Squatting Challenge Here)

Day #11: ASStastic Workout (oh, and some abs and legs, too)

Tonight is my Lower Body Workout Day

I am definitely a *Pear Shape*... or a mesomorph (& endomorph??) body type.  I tend to be muscular, and I gain muscle easily, but at this age, I am definitely far too good at gaining fat as well.  At any rate, when it comes to working out, I definitely want to build my upper body.  My lower body is definitely holding onto plenty of weight, but even now, a lot of it is muscle.

When I was at my most fit, my legs were thick.  There wasn't a lot of fat, but they were big.  Even at my lowest body fat, my calves were still 15 inches and too big to fit into pretty much any boots (and I love boots!).

Anyway, when I go to build muscle, most of my focus is going to be on my arms, shoulders, abs and back.  My legs can wait... or at least take it easy.  The one area of my lower body that I do want to work on?

That right, ladies, the ass.

Source: skinnyms.com via Byn on Pinterest

I can't tell you how much this shocks me.  Growing up, I always had ample ass--age.  I was called bubble butt throughout my childhood, and through my twenties, I still had the ass.  Even in my thirties.  Somewhere in my 40's, it left me.  Did I not appreciate it enough?  I don't know.  I always assumed it would be there.  One day I flipped to the side in Zumba and caught my reflection in the mirror and thought, "WOW!  These shorts actually make my ass look flat!"

Over the next couple of weeks, I started to take notice... my ass was GONE!

So, now that I'm been getting back in the swing of things, working on my goals, I definitely want my ass back!  As a matter of fact, the other day I was perusing my "Fitness Inspiration" board on Pinterest, and my 14 year old said, "Why are there so many butts on your page?"

Because that is where my lower body focus is going to be.  My husband isn't into boobs.  He isn't one to start drooling or getting that glazed over look when a woman with big boobs bounces by with a plunging neckline (even if its ME), but he certainly likes a nice back view.  This isn't the only reason I want my ass back, but I have to say, it might lend a little extra motivation for me.

All this to say, LOOK AT THIS AWESOME, or should I say ASS-SOME (hahaha) WORKOUT I FOUND!!!

That's right, ladies and gents, tonight, I'm going to work on my back view.  I'll let you know how hard it is to sit and stand tomorrow :)  Have a great workout!

Source: thehautebunny.wordpress.com via Byn on Pinterest

Day #8 Workout: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps

YES!!!  Its GYM DAY AGAIN!  I can't believe how excited I am to get to the gym.  I've done weight lifting in the past before, but I am so easily bored, that I didn't stick with anything consistently.  Another note:  Had I been keeping track of my workout, I know it would have been much easier to stick with it.

**Sunday WEIGH IN:  203 1/2!!!  I've Lost 6 1/2 pounds!

As it was, every time I went to the gym, I would be trying to remember how many reps I did and at what weight.  Now I have everything written down in a google doc.  I print it out (or Patrick pulls it up on his phone).  That way I can see instantly if I am at the same weight or going even higher.  It has been motivating for me just knowing that in a few weeks I'll be able to look back and see a marked improvement!

I can't recommend this enough!  No matter where you're starting, you'll soon see an improvement!  For me, seeing the improvement, be it in my weight, my lifting, my cardio, my measurements, is the BIGGEST motivator to KEEP GOING!!!

My first workout

And one week later: (I was able to increase my weight in some exercises, and add additional workouts to my schedule as well.  PROGRESS!)

What do you use to keep track of your workouts?  I signed up for some apps and online trackers, but in the end, I like my little spreadsheet in googledocs.  I love technology, but when it comes to tracking, I just like a pencil and paper better... I like making my own forms, my own spreadsheets, etc.

Anyway, I was able to up my weight a little in some areas... and that felt awesome!  I went to bed sore and happy!  I forgot to measure today, but I'll do so first thing in the morning!

Day #4 Workout: Super Sets Upper Body!

Whoo HOO!!!  Today was one of those days when having my husband there as my 'trainer' came in really handy.  I think.  He kicked my ass.  Of course I may not be able to lift my arms tomorrow to lift my ass out of bed, so maybe I should withhold judgement as to how awesome he is.  He pushed me really hard today.  He knows me well enough to know that I need to see some changes, soon, and I need to feel that I worked out.

My workout journal comment was, "Felt FANTASTIC, but shaky as hell when leaving the gym.  Holy crap.  I did a lot of those to complete failure.  I am going to FEEL this tomorrow!"

If I had a smart phone, this would have been me:

Photo Credit

Day 4
1/16/2013
Time 1:55-3:20 
Cardio Recum. Bike 40 minute interval 2-5
Arms:  Supersets
Preacher Curl 12x12ea 12x12ea 12x12ea
Close Grip Bench Press 30x12 30x12 40x12
Dumbbell Curls 12x12 12x12 12x12
Lying Dumbbell Ext 12x12 12x12 12x12
Incline Dumbbell Curls 12x12 12x10 12x6
Pushdowns (dips) 140asst.x12 160asst.x12 135asst.x12

In other words, I'm going to be flopping around like a fish out of water come tomorrow morning.  It ought to be lovely.  Come to think of it, I bet that would make for a fantastic workout vlog post.  I could get my girls to film me trying to get out of bed without working arms (my mattress is on the floor, so it kind of requires arms, especially with a gimpy back!)

Oh well, tomorrow is a REST DAY, so all I will be expected to do is stretch and drive my kids to their different classes/jobs/etc.  I'm good with that.  As long as I can life my arms enough to steer.  I don't know how much I bet on that, since I shaved my arm pits as soon as I got home, just in case I can't lift my arms for a few days starting tomorrow.  They didn't even NEED it!  That's how paranoid I am!

What did you work out today?

Workout Day #3: Legs & Abs

Yesterday's workout was for legs and abs.  I have to admit, it was really frustrating for me to have to skip any of the workouts because of my back.  I was really struggling to not beat myself up over that.  I think I did okay, though, I just had to continually remind myself that I'm doing more than I did a month ago, and I build muscle fast, so I can DO THIS.  I WILL see a change!

Due to our crazy schedule of hauling kids places, I only had 10 minutes for cardio.  That was a little frustrating, but I will get our schedules figured out and plan better.  That was totally my fault!


Day 3
1/15/2013
Time  
Cardio Recumbent Bike 10 min @5
Legs/Abs
Hyper Extensions SKIP
Horizontal Leg Press 120x12 140x12 140x12
Leg Extensions 50x12 40x12 40x12
Leg Curl 40x12 40x12 40x12
Seated Calf Raises SKIP (because I don't need more muscle there at this point)
Cat-Abs Work (4HB) 6x6 6x count of 6 breaths
Abs (other) Ball Crunches 12

I ate well, had my two Isagenix shakes with a little extra protein (a handful of raw spinach in each shake) as well as one egg, two egg whites and 1/4th a cup of cottage cheese for breakfast and an omelette for my other meal.

I feel good.  I feel like I'm getting stronger and I'm sticking with my plan!  I am keeping track of all of my workouts in a google spreadsheet.  

I can't wait to see how far I've come in another month!

How do you keep track of your progress??

Workout Day #2

I'm updating my workouts a day late, since we seem to end up working out in the evenings, all I want to do when I get home is have a nice hot bath and then curl up with a book.

Yesterday was odd.  I had slept well the night before, but I still felt tired.  Probably because I took 2 of the sleeping pills instead of the 1 that kept me up the night before.  I'm trying out a new sleep supplement, Dreamweaver, since I have pretty severe insomnia.  The Dreamweaver lives up to its name.  I feel like I am finally sleeping deeply enough to dream... and dream I do.  A LOT.

Anyway, by about 1:00 yesterday afternoon, I had a raging headache.  I don't know if my neck is out or this is just a fun little way of my body rebelling because it would rather sit around being a lazy ass at this point.  I took some pain reliever at noon, but by 1:00, my head was still killing me, so I went to lie down.  My hubby turned on the fan so that I would fall asleep... even though I was protesting that I just needed to close my eyes for a minute.

Two hours later, I woke up in somewhat of a daze.  My head ache was gone, though, so who was I to complain.

I have to admit, I'm still feeling edgy and overly sensitive to everything.  In other words, I'm being a bitch.  I know this is a side effect of no longer drinking, but damn, its hard to see anything rationally.  Everything my husband says pisses me off.  Everything he DOESN'T say pisses me off and leaves me feeling lonely and unsupported.  I know some of this is irrational thinking on my part and some of it is him trying to figure out the right way to respond (and his go to default is, "don't say anything that might piss her off")... its more of a workout getting through my own emotional landmines than it is to haul my ass to the gym.

I am seriously more frustrated with myself than anything else.  Remembering my level of fitness even one year ago, its so depressing to me that I can't even do cardio for more than 10 minutes.

Anyway, this was my workout:

Day 2
1/14/2013
Time  
Cardio Recumbent Bike 10 min @5 resistance (I could have went longer, but we were out of time)
Back/Biceps
High Lat Pulldowns 50x14 60x12 60x14
Dumbbell Rows 10x12 12x12 12x12
Front Lat Pulldowns 40x12 50x12 50x12
Preacher Curl 30x12 25x12 25x12

Back to the Gym!!!

I made it back tot he gym last night!

It felt SO good to be back.

I was feeling extremely crabby and frustrated.  Mostly because I had just finished two cleanse days and a lack of sleep, which makes me cranky, not to mention taking before photos and having to upload them and see myself... for real... with no baggy clothes to hide behind.  I know its for the best, but its hard to do when you are the only one in a houseful of people making such a drastic change.  Not that our 'clean eating' or even the 'slow carb/paleo' eating is a big change, but I'm doing a ten day cleanse to get a jumpstart, because I'm the only one with 70+ pounds to lose.  The rest of the family just wants to stay healthy.

I find it beyond frustrating that it is so much harder for me to lost weight than it is for my husband.  Seriously. He can just think about it for a minute and he can lose weight and gain muscle.  Ugh.  Men.  It makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate all of the sacrifices I'm having to make and he's just asking me why I'm so irritated at him, when really, I just feel like I'm alone in this.  I hope this phase passes quickly!

Anyway, I went to the gym and tried the treadmill.  Even though I wore my back brace, I still felt a little too anxious to try the elliptical.  As it was, I was only able to do 2.6 on the treadmill without feeling like I was going to re-injure myself.  That in and of itself was really depressing.  I felt like I wasn't going to be able to make any changes with that little work!

I have to say, I had a HARD time staying focused and staying positive.  It was really hard for me not to beat myself up for being back at the beginning again.  I did the best I could, and every time I found myself putting myself down or feeling like "I am NEVER going to get into shape again, I'm going to feel awful FOREVER." I would forcibly change my attention to one of the many "Transformations" that had encouraged me and just pictured myself at the end of my journey.

I tried to be purposeful in my movements with the weights and make sure I was focusing on each muscle as I worked out.  I worked on chest, shoulders & triceps from a workout plan I found online for working through a back injury.  I left out the military bench press and seated shoulder shrugs because they put too much strain on my back.  I ended up doing:


Day 1
1/13/2013
Time  6:00-7:15
Cardio Treadmill for 10 min. @ 2.6
Chest/Shoulders/Triceps
Flat Bench Press *20x12 40x12 50x12
Incline Bench Press 20x12 20x12 20x12
Dumbbell Bench Press 15x19 15x12 15x13
Dumbbell Flys 8x12 8x12 8x12
Front Raises 8x12 5x12 5x12
Tricep Push Downs 20x12 30x12 30x11

*I wrote each set with # x how many reps.

I am really excited to keep track of my weights and reps, because I know that I'll be able to see a lot more improvement that way, especially since I can't do much of anything cardio wise for at least another week or two.

Rewards for Reaching Goals

How do you reward yourself for reaching weight loss/fitness goals?

In the past when I've set goals, I always had trouble with rewards.

I don't want to reward with new clothes, because I plan on continuing to shrink!

I don't want to reward with food because I'm trying to get out of the mindset that food=reward.

So, I've decided to set some short term goals, and make a list of things that I would like to reward myself with.

GOALS By the end of January:

• 90 second plank
• 10 push--ups
• 30 minutes on elliptical HIIT without dying :)
• 35% body fat (I'm at 40% right now and OUCH, does that hurt!!!  I'm not sure how attainable this is, in 2 1/2 weeks but I need to start somewhere!)

Reward:  Hair Cut!  (I haven't had a professional hair cut since... my 40th birthday a year and a half ago!  I always cut it myself, but right now it looks crappy)

Future Reward Ideas:
Take a burlesque fitness class
Take a pole dance fitness class
Buy a new workout dvd/set (T-Tapp is one I really want, Insanity, etc.)

I got my new body fat analyzer today. At his request, I got my 17 year old son's results and said, "Well, that's pretty good..."

"For a GIRL"

He just laughed, but as I was walking back to the living room when he yelled out, "Wait! A HOT girl?"

Lol.

Ten Days Down. Let the Planning Commence!

So my husband, Patrick aka Personal Trainer gave me ten more days of down time for my back to heal.  Then I can start PiYo.  And get back to my TOTALLY AWESOME BODY TRANSFORMATION!!!  I hope to be strong enough by the end of the month to add in weights and other cardio.

My plan is to have a plan.  Deep, right?  I know:) I'm using Jamie Eason's fat loss workout plan from the Body Building website.  It is laid out in such a way that you can print out the workouts to keep track of your weight/reps, etc.  I'm excited to have something so well laid out.  I also plan on doing PiYo and extended stretching at least three times a week as well.

3 Month Goals!

*Beginning January 15, 2013

(vague until I am healed enough to get a measurable starting point)

• Increase flexibility (I'll set actual measurable goals once my back heals and I can see where I'm starting from!)  This is a big one for me because I have never been flexible and I know it is a big factor in my injuries.  I want that to STOP!
• Lower body fat (I ordered this electronic body fat analyzer today and I'm really looking forward to seeing how my body fat % is going down as I work out!)
• Lose 25-30 pounds.  I know this is a somewhat high amount, but I have at least 75 pounds to lose, so I don't think its unreasonable.  After the first 3-4 months, I plan to focus even more on strength training and developing those habits, but I really need to get a good portion of this weight off so that my joints and my back aren't under so much pressure.  
• Increase Cardio:  I want to be able to do 30 minutes (not counting warm up & cool down) on the elliptical with resistance/incline HIIT and not be dying at the end!  I'm starting at no resistance, no incline and doing just 30 minutes of that is tiring!  I want to improve this hard core!
• Increase Weights when lifting AND be able to do: 
• 3 full pull ups (I'm super pathetic in that area right now, but its very important to me to increase my upper body strength!)
• 10 pushups (no knees)
• 2 minute plank
• 5 Turkish Get Ups (weight TBD)
• Improved Nutrition:
• Isagenix:  EITHER one 9 day cleanse each month, or one 30 days cleanse to start.
• Cut wheat out entirely for the first 3 months
• Cut out refined sugars, HFC & MSG completely.
• Limit grains

Coming Soon!  My Six Month Goals

*Once I'm about a month or so into my first 3 months, I'll set definitive goals for the end of June

My husband and I Feb. 2011

**My 19th anniversary is at the end of June!!!  I want to have a formal party on our back deck and I want to look and feel fabulous when I celebrate with my amazing husband!  So some of my goals may be vague, but I want to have plenty of energy, I want to feel GREAT about myself and what I've accomplished... and most of all, I want to feel sexy:)  I mean, what could be better for celebrating 19 amazing years together?