Measurements... I've lost 19 inches. Damn.

Well, I went to take pictures today... even though its still over a week away from my 'scheduled' 30 day progress pictures.  I mainly wanted to do it because I have been FEELING so different.  I've been feeling like I'm a lot less "fluffy" and I know I"m gaining more muscle and feeling stronger.

Anyway, the photos didn't impress me compared to last month's photos.  I didn't see ANY changes, and what I did see just depressed me.  I am still depressed that I've gotten this far off track.  THEN I went and compared them to my STARTING or "before" pictures.  That was a little more impressive:

I'm not estatic, but I am proud of the fact that I AM changing my body and getting to where I like it more!  I'm more comfortable in my skin... and that's saying a LOT!

ANYWAY, thankfully I took my measurements BEFORE I looked at the pictures (because that was a bit depressing for me to see, even with the changes, I don't like looking at myself that closely!).  I've lost a little over 19 inches.  It isn't quite THAT amazing, because for SOME odd reason that I can't explain, the last time I measured, I had gained inches in a lot of places, even though I had lost weight.  I don't know...

Here are my measurements:

My body fat % has gone down a lot as well, and I can definitely FEEL a difference.  My weight is going down... and honestly, I'm not hitting it as hard as I could as far as fat loss.  For me, quitting grains and quitting drinking was a HUGE, huge thing.  I'm glad that I've quit and it doesn't have a hold on me.  I have to see that as a HUGE victory.  At the end of my 3 months, I want to regroup and plan to get serious about the HIIT cardio and then I'm sure I'll see faster changes.

For now, I'm going to be okay with slower fat loss (than I expected) because I'm THRILLED with the strength training.  I'm thrilled that I'm gaining muscles and getting stronger.  I'm amazed to see the fat coming off without losing much of anything else.  I'm happy with my progress, I just have to remind myself of that every once in a while.  I'm not one of the "12 week body transformation" type winners this time.  Its okay to do what I can, because I AM DOING A LOT!!!

I really hope that I can get to a place in the next two months where I am happy to put on a swim suit, but that's not my be all, end all goal.  I want to make this a habit that I do even when I don't *feel* like it.

I want this to just be my routine.

I'm going to get better about posting my workouts.  I promise!!!  I'm increasing in strength, I'm adding new workouts, its awesome.  I FEEL like I should be seeing more of a change, but for now, I'm feeling good about the changes that I do see.

• I can lift more
• I don't feel so sore that I can't move for days anymore
• I am sleeping well at night... 
• My clothes are fitting better
• I don't feel all bloated and gross like I did most of the time before... 

its GOOD.  I'm making PROGRESS.

Now I just have to work on my emotional self!

The Mood Monster, The Diet Bet & Progress!!!

The Mood Monster

Oh my WORD, you guys, I don't know what is UP.  About a week ago, I started feeling really emotional.  I was really stressed out about finances (what's new), and things were getting tighter and tighter, but my moods seemed to be extreme, even for all of that.

Then my beautiful, blissful SLEEP went away.  Suddenly, instead of falling asleep without trouble at 10:30 or 11... I was still up, tossing and turning until 12:30 or 1:00 and then trying to force myself to sleep only to wake at 3:30 and then again at 5:00...

Yesterday was the worst of the worst.  I woke up feeling awful and I burst into hysterical tears no less than 8 times.  It was ridiculous, but I was losing it.  I kept running to the bathroom and sobbing into a towel.  Between times, I was mostly fine, but Sheesh!

My poor family probably felt like this

GIFSoup

THE GYM

We finally got our butts to the gym, but honestly, I was pretty drained.  I was feeling a little bit hopeless and just irritated.  I was determined to do my workout just out of pure stubbornness.  I think that my facebook page is keeping me accountable, even if I don't have that many followers, I am getting some nice feedback and those people are honestly helping me to stick with it!  The support already means so much. So I did it.  I went to the gym and I did a major bicep/tricep workout... OWW!!!

My Wednesday Workout

As you can see, I suck... really, completely suck at doing cardio.  My son, my workout partner already does an hour of cardio for gym class at school, so he doesn't need to do it, and we almost always have to leave for his practices/work, so I can't do them then.  This means that I need to get off of my ass and do my cardio during the day or *gasp* IN THE MORNING.  I really need to start doing that if I want to lose fat faster (and I DO)...

SO... I entered an online diet bet.  One of the facebook pages that I follow posted this diet bet, and my husband agreed that I should do it, so I entered.

The Anti-Jared Diet Bet

The "bet" is to lose 4% of your body weight in 28 days.  Since it took me a few days to get my photo taken, I have 26 days.  This means that I really need to step up my cardio.  I'm losing body FAT right now, but I'm putting on muscle at a fast enough rate that without cardio, its not going to show on the scale.  Since one of my biggest goals and motivators is fat loss... I want to DO THIS THING!

Progress!!!

One of the things I had to do for the contest was take a before photo on the scales.  This meant that I had to get ON them.  My weight was 202.5.  Although this is only 1 pound down in the last two weeks... when I took my body fat %, I went from 40% to 38.5%!  So I'm losing fat AND gaining lean muscle.  I'm happy.

And sore.  If you want to see my weights/workouts since Sunday... here ya go!

Back to the Gym!!!

I made it back tot he gym last night!

It felt SO good to be back.

I was feeling extremely crabby and frustrated.  Mostly because I had just finished two cleanse days and a lack of sleep, which makes me cranky, not to mention taking before photos and having to upload them and see myself... for real... with no baggy clothes to hide behind.  I know its for the best, but its hard to do when you are the only one in a houseful of people making such a drastic change.  Not that our 'clean eating' or even the 'slow carb/paleo' eating is a big change, but I'm doing a ten day cleanse to get a jumpstart, because I'm the only one with 70+ pounds to lose.  The rest of the family just wants to stay healthy.

I find it beyond frustrating that it is so much harder for me to lost weight than it is for my husband.  Seriously. He can just think about it for a minute and he can lose weight and gain muscle.  Ugh.  Men.  It makes me feel like he doesn't appreciate all of the sacrifices I'm having to make and he's just asking me why I'm so irritated at him, when really, I just feel like I'm alone in this.  I hope this phase passes quickly!

Anyway, I went to the gym and tried the treadmill.  Even though I wore my back brace, I still felt a little too anxious to try the elliptical.  As it was, I was only able to do 2.6 on the treadmill without feeling like I was going to re-injure myself.  That in and of itself was really depressing.  I felt like I wasn't going to be able to make any changes with that little work!

I have to say, I had a HARD time staying focused and staying positive.  It was really hard for me not to beat myself up for being back at the beginning again.  I did the best I could, and every time I found myself putting myself down or feeling like "I am NEVER going to get into shape again, I'm going to feel awful FOREVER." I would forcibly change my attention to one of the many "Transformations" that had encouraged me and just pictured myself at the end of my journey.

I tried to be purposeful in my movements with the weights and make sure I was focusing on each muscle as I worked out.  I worked on chest, shoulders & triceps from a workout plan I found online for working through a back injury.  I left out the military bench press and seated shoulder shrugs because they put too much strain on my back.  I ended up doing:


Day 1
1/13/2013
Time  6:00-7:15
Cardio Treadmill for 10 min. @ 2.6
Chest/Shoulders/Triceps
Flat Bench Press *20x12 40x12 50x12
Incline Bench Press 20x12 20x12 20x12
Dumbbell Bench Press 15x19 15x12 15x13
Dumbbell Flys 8x12 8x12 8x12
Front Raises 8x12 5x12 5x12
Tricep Push Downs 20x12 30x12 30x11

*I wrote each set with # x how many reps.

I am really excited to keep track of my weights and reps, because I know that I'll be able to see a lot more improvement that way, especially since I can't do much of anything cardio wise for at least another week or two.

Day #5 of my Awesome Transformation: Insomnia Improving!

Insomnia:  It still took me a while to get to sleep last night, and although I woke late this morning, I felt like I had ACTUALLY SLEPT.  That is huge.  I still had tons of dreams and some of them were a little bothersome, but I slept!  Yay me!!!

Then I woke up to two huge piles of dog shit in the house because my kids all slept in, too.  No, I didn't just wake up to it, I STEPPED IN IT.  I must say that its a testament to the fact that I must have slept pretty freaking well, because stepping in a big pile of cold dog shit first thing in the morning didn't elicit either yelling or cussing from me.  Not even under my breath!  

Having big sweet dogs that apparently don't feel like they should wake the kids to let them out has its downfalls.  I think I'll scrounge around for alarm clocks for the kids for Christmas, because that was gross.

Working Out:  *emailing whenever with my P.T. a perk of being married to him?

Me:  What are we working on today? Just wondering.  I was going to plan on a PiYo either this afternoon or before bed...
Patrick:  Plan a strength-centric PiYo.  I'm going to make you hate me through the vehicle of cardio machines tonight :)

P.T. knowing when and how to best kick my ass?  A downside to being married to your personal trainer?  Or a perk?

I'll report back on how badly he kicks my ass later tonight.

For now I'm focusing on Goal Setting and Tracking Progress.  I'm trying to find the best way to track my progress, to make sure that I'm actually keeping up with things and paying attention to progress.  I am measuring every Tuesday.  I weigh every morning, but my scales are very crappy and can vacillate within 5+ pounds within the same two minute period, so I don't hold much with those.  In addition to that, though, I want to make sure that I track my strength as well.  A month from now, I want to be able to look back and see how much stronger I am... how much longer I can hold a plank or how many more reps/weight I can do with a particular exercise.  Being able to see progress is HUGE for me.  It is one of my biggest motivators.  After all, who wants to kick their ass day after day for nothing?  Not me.

Tracking:  I'm trying to decide if I want to stick with an online program like Fitocracy or Spark People, or if I just want to create my own printable workout logs and chart them on my own.  I like the idea of an online app, but I don't like the lack of choices when it comes to work outs.  Maybe I just haven't figured them out yet.  What do you use?  In some ways I'm almost partial to pen and paper.  I can always upload it into a google doc or something.  I don't know.  I can't figure it out!!!

I'd be happy with THIS size, and this was after I'd already gained nearly 30 pounds when my metabolism crashed on me.

Secondly, I'm trying to figure out What My Goals Are.  Because I don't have much of a clue.  I want to get back to my prior 'fit' state, but I don't know how to quantify that.  I also don't know what kind of time frame to put on any of it.  This is so confusing!  I definitely need goals, though.

For now, I'm going to make my Top Five CHANGES that I want to make:

1. Drink at least four 52 oz. glasses of ice water every day
2. Take my supplements EVERY morning
3. Eat protein within 30 minutes of waking every morning
4. Stop drinking alcohol & Change bedtime routine/habits and learn to sleep without it.
5. Stick with exercise plan set by trainer and PiYo/Yoga at least 3-4 times a week, either for strength or relaxation before bed.

What are your goals?  If you don't have any set in stone yet, what changes do you want to make?   Let me know in the comments, and link to your blog if you're blogging about health, fitness, nutrition or weight loss!

Day #4 of my Awesome Transformation

Insomnia:  So last night was a little better.  I was really surprised that I had no craving for alcohol at all.  I wasn't even terribly panicked that I had NOTHING to help me sleep, not even "Sleepy Time" tea.  This is a big BIG change for me.  YAY!  I was still feeling incredibly overly sensitive (my poor husband), but I did eventually get to sleep around 2:00 am.  The night was still plagued with dreams... over and over and over.  I kept waking up feeling panicked or frustrated... but I was still able to fall asleep easier than the night before, so still, PROGRESS.  That is what I'm looking for in this journey, continued progress.

I won't have the opportunity to go to the gym with my husband until 9:00 or later tonight, so I'm going to go do a short workout DVD with PiYo for right now.  Just in case he's too tired to take me later... I have to get something in today!

I just finished PiYo #3 with my 12 year old daughter Abyni!  It was only 35 minutes, but we were both sweating, and we made it through all of the exercises.  Granted, I had to do the push ups and the mermaid poses on one knee, but I did them all!  I get SO bored when I'm exercising, but with this, I found that I was surprised when it was done!

 

I can certainly tell that although I still feel really really tired, I still have far more energy today than I did yesterday!  I got some laundry going, the dishes put away AND did some fitness.  

Things are only moving up from here!

Tomorrow I think I'll start making some concrete goals and habits that I want to develop.

Day #3 of my Awesome Transformation: Insomnia, Sore Muscles & PiYo

Insomnia:  I knew that giving up alcohol was going to severely affect my sleep, it always does.  The only question is how long it will keep disrupting my nights.  I don't do well on lack of sleep.  I'm a huge ball of stress and moods whenever I'm lacking sleep.

Last night I wasn't even close to tired until 1:30am.  I finally fell into a fitful sleep around 2:00am.  Just before 4:00, I was up again.  I kept thinking I was hearing noises... I thought maybe the kids left the TV on or someone was outside.  I got up, checked everything, found nothing and stumbled back to bed.  I had a few hours of tossing and turning and finally fell back asleep around 6-7.  I tossed and turned some more and finally woke up at 10:00.  I'm trying to stay positive, but man, I hate not sleeping.  All of that tossing and turning has left me feeling like I was hit by a truck.

Sore Muscles:  I pushed a little too hard with arms on Monday, and my triceps are SO sore that it hurts to bend my arms.  I'm going to go easy on them for a few days and work with PiYo for my core and legs.  I may hit the gym for some more elliptical.  That seems to be the best bet for right now as its easy on my knees.

I started my day with protein (eggs & cottage cheese), ice water, cinnamon capsules, liquid B-12 and my Ionix Supreme... and a lot of ICE water.  So yeah, I'm huddled up on the counch under a blanket with an ice pack on my right elbow, since that's the most sore.

I had PLANNED to do PiYo* today, but the combination of sore, exhausted muscles and hyper emotional self due to nightmares and lack of sleep just wiped me out.  I ended up crashing at 3:30pm and slept hard until 7:30.  My sleep was still plagued with nightmares, though, so even once I woke, I was groggy and feeling upset.  After bursting into tears in the kitchen, Patrick just held me and reassured me that this is common and we'll get through this, too.  I complained that I felt lazy and he said that I needed the rest so that my body can recover and we can hit it hard again tomorrow.

PiYo:  Is a combination of Pilates, Yoga and Ballet.  There are a variety of levels and intensity.  I have some that are more calming and more yoga like, and some that are crazy cardio intense with a lot of movement between poses.  I like them both, but I think today I'm going to keep it low key so my muscles can recover.

I got certified to teach PiYo a year and a half ago and taught for a little while.  I couldn't find a place to teach it, though, and soon my health problems and ensuing depression had me sidelined anyway.  It is a fantastic workout for people with joint issues.  You can take it at your own pace and it builds strength, especially core strength without any impact.

 

It sounds like nothing, even to me, but today all I accomplished was resting, doing two 30 second planks and some stretching.  That's all I had in me.  The difference this time is that I am still staying positive.  This isn't even a set back, its just a rest day.

Hugs to you and I hope you had a wonderful day!