Going Forward... the 2nd 12 Weeks of my transformation.

My 42nd birthday is July 23rd... I have Goals to reach by then!

That will be just a little bit past my second "12 Week" mark.  I have some goals that I want to meet, but mostly I want to make some new changes and habits.

During my first 12 weeks, I wanted to (A) Lose Fat & (B) Get Healthier.

I managed to:

1. Stop drinking alcohol (once a month instead of every night)
2. Stop eating grains (a 6 month goal, at which point I will gradually add them back in to see what/if anything bothers me digestive-wise)
3. Eat "Clean" six days a week (The main change for ME: cut out grains, sugar & artificial sweeteners)
4. Eat more protein
5. Celebrate one cheat meal/day a week as I felt I needed it (sometimes I ended up with a day of noshing on this or that, but most often I had one treat for the day and that was plenty!)
6. Workout with weights at least 4 days a week, usually 5-6
7. Increase my strength a LOT!
8. Start falling asleep by 10:00 instead of 1 or 2 am!!!  (this was HUGE!!!)
9. Start taking my supplements & vitamins regularly
10. accomplish a daily fitness/workout challenge every day each month
11. I've lost 17 pounds, went from 41% body fat to 35.7% AND lost lost of inches (around 20)
12. I have more energy, more focus and feel MUCH more comfortable in my own skin.

During my second 12 Weeks, I would like to add a few new habits:

• Try carb cycling
• Eat a LOT more fresh vegetables (spring is in the air!)
• Add in Cardio three times a week (starting with SMALL doses with HIIT on the bike & elliptical)
• Keep up the weight lifting, keep up the challenges and clean eating
• Lose another 17-24 pounds of fat, get down to 30% body fat & lose more inches!!!
• Find a better way to deal with stress

Non fitness related, but because I finally have energy and better focus:

• Paint something each week
• Work on my script formatting at least a few times a week
• Do something special, specifically for my husband each week
• Have a family dinner once a week
• Spend time with the kids doing something physical at least weekly

I will also start posting my workouts here at least when they change. 

Measurements... I've lost 19 inches. Damn.

Well, I went to take pictures today... even though its still over a week away from my 'scheduled' 30 day progress pictures.  I mainly wanted to do it because I have been FEELING so different.  I've been feeling like I'm a lot less "fluffy" and I know I"m gaining more muscle and feeling stronger.

Anyway, the photos didn't impress me compared to last month's photos.  I didn't see ANY changes, and what I did see just depressed me.  I am still depressed that I've gotten this far off track.  THEN I went and compared them to my STARTING or "before" pictures.  That was a little more impressive:

I'm not estatic, but I am proud of the fact that I AM changing my body and getting to where I like it more!  I'm more comfortable in my skin... and that's saying a LOT!

ANYWAY, thankfully I took my measurements BEFORE I looked at the pictures (because that was a bit depressing for me to see, even with the changes, I don't like looking at myself that closely!).  I've lost a little over 19 inches.  It isn't quite THAT amazing, because for SOME odd reason that I can't explain, the last time I measured, I had gained inches in a lot of places, even though I had lost weight.  I don't know...

Here are my measurements:

My body fat % has gone down a lot as well, and I can definitely FEEL a difference.  My weight is going down... and honestly, I'm not hitting it as hard as I could as far as fat loss.  For me, quitting grains and quitting drinking was a HUGE, huge thing.  I'm glad that I've quit and it doesn't have a hold on me.  I have to see that as a HUGE victory.  At the end of my 3 months, I want to regroup and plan to get serious about the HIIT cardio and then I'm sure I'll see faster changes.

For now, I'm going to be okay with slower fat loss (than I expected) because I'm THRILLED with the strength training.  I'm thrilled that I'm gaining muscles and getting stronger.  I'm amazed to see the fat coming off without losing much of anything else.  I'm happy with my progress, I just have to remind myself of that every once in a while.  I'm not one of the "12 week body transformation" type winners this time.  Its okay to do what I can, because I AM DOING A LOT!!!

I really hope that I can get to a place in the next two months where I am happy to put on a swim suit, but that's not my be all, end all goal.  I want to make this a habit that I do even when I don't *feel* like it.

I want this to just be my routine.

I'm going to get better about posting my workouts.  I promise!!!  I'm increasing in strength, I'm adding new workouts, its awesome.  I FEEL like I should be seeing more of a change, but for now, I'm feeling good about the changes that I do see.

• I can lift more
• I don't feel so sore that I can't move for days anymore
• I am sleeping well at night... 
• My clothes are fitting better
• I don't feel all bloated and gross like I did most of the time before... 

its GOOD.  I'm making PROGRESS.

Now I just have to work on my emotional self!

I LOVE Weight Lifting!!!

I'm improving!!!  I did 95# on the decline bench press tonight... I was struggling, but I did 3 sets of ten! That's 20# up from my last time. My husband pushes me so much more than I would push myself!

We got to the dumb bell flyes and K. started with 25# and gave up.  He absolutely couldn't do it, so I gave him 20# and he said he couldn't do it.  So I went and did 10 with the 20# and suddenly he decided he COULD do it after all.  He's SO funny.  Seriously, he's SO comical, between the two of us and our sarcastic sense of humor... it would make a funny show :)  Anyway, I did 3 sets of 10 with the 20# and was barely sweating it, so Kainan had to finish off with two last sets using the 25#.  I gave him such a hard time... he's a good sport about it, thankfully :)

**I think that maybe I shouldn't have said, "Why don't I feel sore anymore when I work out?" this morning when talking to my hubby.

My arms feel a LOT less 'squishy', even though I haven't been able to do but maybe one bicep/tricep workout in the last MONTH due to my elbow.  I think my shoulders are getting more defined, though, and that is helping a bit.  I feel STRONG.  I LOVE IT.  I love the feeling of lifting weights, especially when I go up in weight from one week to the next.  I love it when suddenly something that felt really hard one week suddenly feels easy... I just feel so much more... OOMPH than I have before.

I LOVED doing Zumba and teaching classes.  I loved working up into a big sweaty dripping mess, and I hope to teach again, because encouraging others was awesome as well... but weight lifting is such a different beast.  I am really surprised at how much I like it.  I can do it when I am pissed off, I can do it when I'm happy, I can do it whenever and I can FORCE myself to do it and still push myself.  Its just DIFFERENT.  I'm so SO glad that I started.

I need to post here more and post more updated photos.  I'm seeing changes in ways that I've never seen before.  I'm VERY curious to see how this plays out...

If anyone is reading and has questions, let me know!  I'm hoping to keep updating here at least twice a week.  I am lifting weights 6 days a week this month and getting maybe 2 sessions of HIIT of about 15-20 minutes each week... at best.  I must say, I'm really slacking on the cardio!

Find me on my Fitspiration Over 40 Facebook Page for Daily Challenges and updates!

Hormones. Menopause. Moods...

Here's a little reality break:  I've been watching "That 70's Show" in the evenings before bed (Insomnia is a bitch, I tell ya).  Mainly because its light fare and I don't have to worry about it being so engrossing that I can't get to sleep.  I half watch, half play solitaire until I can't stay awake/think anymore.

HOWEVER, the menopause story line with Kitty is really hard to find funny, although I suppose its probably funny to watch me watching it because I'm about to kick someone's ass.  Red going, "Come on, Kitty, its time for a nap" when she's having a meltdown is making me want to punch my fist through the laptop.

I don't know.  Perhaps I may be dealing with some hormonal issues myself.

I find myself alternating between, OMG, this is so funny how much I'm overreacting to this  to *sob* THIS ISN'T FUNNY, DAMN IT!!!  Asshole men and their lack of having to deal with all this emotional and hormonal bullshit I WISH I WAS A LESBIAN!!!  Except then I'd have to deal with a hysterical woman at the same time that I* am a hysterical woman and ITS NOT FAIR.  OMG, I must be hormonal.  Why am I CRYING over this?  Its just a stupid show and RED!  STOP TREATING YOUR SON LIKE SHIT.  YOU'RE THE DUMBASS!!!  MEN ARE SO STUPID.  My husband is so patient.  Holy shit.  How does he put up with me... OMG, Kitty, I totally understand!  A remote is supposed to WORK!  That's all it DOES!  Then I cheer none too quietly as she throws the 'clicker' on the floor and stomps on it.  I'm really surprised that the show isn't making me want to drink.

And to think, I was thinking of watching this show WITH my kids.  Maybe not so much.  http://youtu.be/U3of9VoChY8

Charting Moods for my Own Sanity

I can't remember exactly how many times I have figured this out, but writing out my negativity, my pissy moods, my frustrations, my anxieties, etc always helps. It might help a little, just to get it out of my head, but any time that I finally just feel crushed and write EVERYTHING down and REALLY pay attention to how I'm feeling??? Complete change.

Seriously, this "Mood Monster" has been going on for too long! 

Really?  Another MAJOR Mood Monster!?!?

Add to that a kick ass workout and I'm wonnnderful. Say what you will about chicks who lift weights, but this shit makes me feel fantastic. EVEN THOUGH I had a gimpy knee and couldn't do all of my workout (had to supplement with other things), I STILL left feeling pumped up. I may end up being one of those buff chicks, because the "afterglow" is AWESOME.  Anyway, we came home and I wasn't even beating myself up over the gimpy knee, the cold shower because the kids used all the hot water didn't even piss me off, and I sat on our couch with Patrick and just wanted to cuddle, talk and be close (WHAT????  Where did THAT come from?  I don't give a shit... just took advantage while I could!)

So, forgive my pissy writings, I'll try to mostly keep them to myself, but sheesh... I feel awesome.

(And yes, I've been diagnosed as bipolar before)

I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "I feel WONDERFUL!  What did I DO???  I must JOURNAL EVERY DAY!"

And no, I don't have the dedication or desire to be THIS buff (although I wouldn't mind a bit, its not my goal), but this woman, Dana Linn Bailey is hot as hell for some reason. And she reminds me of P!nk for yet another reason. In part, I think its just the personality and attitude... but there is something.  

Charting Moods & Meltdowns

**Language Warning... 

So I decided to pay really close attention to my moods for a while, to chart what I eat (and when) what supplements I take (and when) and note my mood/frame of mind every few hours. It has seemed like I've been on a HUGE rollercoaster lately, and since I have no way of testing ANYTHING without money and really without insurance, I only have my own observations to depend on.

I swear, JUST the act of writing down how I'm feeling and paying close attention to my moods seems to help them stabilize. Maybe it makes me feel less crazy?? I don't know.

I just made a little chart thing in google drive:

Anyway, it was something I decided to do after just a little introspective observation... that was made after THIS mood-related-honesty yesterday:

"Its like if PMS lasted 3 weeks instead of one (so far), and made you want to kill someone in their sleep (or maybe when they're awake so it will last longer) for moving the fucking pepper that you use every single morning on your eggs so you have to go hunting around the damn kitchen like a dumb ass ESPECIALLY when there are only two fucking eggs left so you can't have your 1 egg, 2 egg whites like you always do and you want to start throwing all of the nice plates and bowls onto the tile just to hear the crash but you won't because then you'd cry because you're too damned cheap and even garage sale dishes cost too damn much and besides, then you'd have to spend time cleaning all the broken shit up and speaking of which, can anyone ever clean up after themselves? I mean, REALLY.

That is a tiny snippet from inside my head for about 3 minutes of my morning, with most of the cussing left out.

And if you have an actual solution that I haven't tried, feel free to suggest it. Keep in mind that I'm already taking supplements as in fish oil, liquid B12, women's multi-vitamin, liquid D3... I eat healthy foods and I don't deprive myself (I'm not hungry or craving things), I exercise daily, I'm still (heavily) perioding regularly, so I don't even think its "menopause" shit yet, either. At least today it was anger instead of sobbing. I guess that's something different, at least?"

WEIGH IN & Workout Update

Weigh In!

Day #1: 210 lbs, bf 40% 

Day #15: 203.5 lbs bf 39.5%

Day #31: 201 bf 38.4%

I needed to see this progress! I felt like I wasn't losing ANYTHING!  
I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there!

The sports bra in pic #2 is actually tighter than the one in the 1st pic.  Hopefully can have the same clean clothes to photograph from here on out! :)

THIS is the type of thing I need to SEE.  Although in the midst of depression, things can look bleak, even I couldn't completely ignore these numbers.  It feels great to see progress!

I am keeping up with my workouts and getting stronger every week.

I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to see my improvements over time!

     

Day 1

Day 21 

 Through Day 31 (I think I have that right)