STRANGE.
Or it was the subliminal 'stress relief' audio.
At first it was really easy, relaxing. I did the grounding exercise and found it really easy to visualize the roots going into the ground, but I couldn't visualize the connect through the head/universe thing.
I finally just left that and started on the energy points. That felt easy. Just hitting each energy point and feeling it come 'on' down, then up, then back down from head, throat, chest, midsection, pelvis & feet and then up again. That felt so easy and 'right' that I used that whenever I found myself being distracted.
I started out with some of the affirmations,
Infinite riches are now flowing into my life
Everything is coming to me easily and effortlessly
I have a firm, sexy body
As money/financial stress is the biggest stress in my life right now, and I believe it has had a huge impact on my weight gain (constant stress fatigues the adrenals) that is my MAIN focus. I need that stress gone so that I can get healthy.
Then I started visualizing having $2,000.00. Extra, unexpected money. I counted it in my hands, showed it to the kids, posted about it on livejournal and on my blog. I then tried laying it out on the table and kept feeling blocked, so I went back tot he energy points for a while, then came back and laid the money out on the couch and counted it. I used half of it to pay back part of a loan and half to pay bills and felt SO MUCH RELIEF.
I then watched my husband as he went about his day and saw him finding money in random, unexpected places. On the ground at the gas station where he stops to get gas, on a sidewalk, on the floor of the mail truck, odd places. Once it even floated onto his windshield as you were delivering mail. Some loose change, some dollar bills, a roll of money that had a twenty and a ten dollar bill in it.
Then I remembered about finding the 'safe place' or whatever it was called. I found myself sitting on the beach watching the kids play in the ocean with you sitting beside me. I felt deeply content and at peace.
Then I remembered that I had wanted to have my secret place be a secluded waterfall :) so I started to go there instead, but then suddenly (this is really really weird) my husband and I were in a basket type thing (like in a hot air balloon, but on a zip line instead) high in some tropical mountains and I FREAKED OUT in the basket. SO much so that my first thought was to jump out because surely death was preferable to feeling that much fear and anxiety.
That was SO strange to me that I decided at that point to not have a secret place right now and I went back to the energy points again. I did that over and over until I felt calm and then went back to seeing you at work. I ran my hand over your shoulder and visualized heat and healing to your shoulder ...
Holy god this sounds so freaking weird... seriously. This is WEIRD to write, but its what my brain did, so I want to write it down.) Never having done this in a purposeful way before, I just let my mind go where it wanted for the most part as I tried some of the exercises that I remembered from the "Creative Visualization" book.
Anyway, I visualized running my hands over my husband's head, down the back of his head and over his shoulder. I did that over and over for a while and it felt so real that I started to wonder if he was feeling it. :) I can't tell you how much I want him to be pain free (he has an old shoulder injury that has nearly disabled him). I spent a bit of time there, trying things that seemed helpful.
Body Imagery
Then I visualized myself, starting at my feet and working my way up, then stalled so I started at the top of my head. I visualized my skin smoothing (almost like photo editing:), extra fat melting away, spots melting away, muscle definition showing up. I started from the top and worked my way down and then back up the backside. This seemed to take a while and felt really difficult at times, but once I refocused, I was able to finish the whole process.
And now my mind just blanked. I don't know what else happened. At some point soon thereafter I just started feeling anxiety and stress, so I just brought myself out of that state and got up.
The cat was meowing, so I let her out and felt incredible amounts of stress so I locked the door. It felt very weird, so I came back to our room to write this out before I forgot. I turned off the subliminal stress relief and typed this up.
That's where I am. I feel excited to see the effects of this process.
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