Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Hormones. Menopause. Moods...


Here's a little reality break:  I've been watching "That 70's Show" in the evenings before bed (Insomnia is a bitch, I tell ya).  Mainly because its light fare and I don't have to worry about it being so engrossing that I can't get to sleep.  I half watch, half play solitaire until I can't stay awake/think anymore.

HOWEVER, the menopause story line with Kitty is really hard to find funny, although I suppose its probably funny to watch me watching it because I'm about to kick someone's ass.  Red going, "Come on, Kitty, its time for a nap" when she's having a meltdown is making me want to punch my fist through the laptop.

I don't know.  Perhaps I may be dealing with some hormonal issues myself.



I find myself alternating between, OMG, this is so funny how much I'm overreacting to this  to *sob* THIS ISN'T FUNNY, DAMN IT!!!  Asshole men and their lack of having to deal with all this emotional and hormonal bullshit I WISH I WAS A LESBIAN!!!  Except then I'd have to deal with a hysterical woman at the same time that I* am a hysterical woman and ITS NOT FAIR.  OMG, I must be hormonal.  Why am I CRYING over this?  Its just a stupid show and RED!  STOP TREATING YOUR SON LIKE SHIT.  YOU'RE THE DUMBASS!!!  MEN ARE SO STUPID.  My husband is so patient.  Holy shit.  How does he put up with me... OMG, Kitty, I totally understand!  A remote is supposed to WORK!  That's all it DOES!  Then I cheer none too quietly as she throws the 'clicker' on the floor and stomps on it.  I'm really surprised that the show isn't making me want to drink.

And to think, I was thinking of watching this show WITH my kids.  Maybe not so much.  http://youtu.be/U3of9VoChY8

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Charting Moods for my Own Sanity

I can't remember exactly how many times I have figured this out, but writing out my negativity, my pissy moods, my frustrations, my anxieties, etc always helps. It might help a little, just to get it out of my head, but any time that I finally just feel crushed and write EVERYTHING down and REALLY pay attention to how I'm feeling??? Complete change.


Seriously, this "Mood Monster" has been going on for too long! 
Really?  Another MAJOR Mood Monster!?!?

Add to that a kick ass workout and I'm wonnnderful. Say what you will about chicks who lift weights, but this shit makes me feel fantastic. EVEN THOUGH I had a gimpy knee and couldn't do all of my workout (had to supplement with other things), I STILL left feeling pumped up. I may end up being one of those buff chicks, because the "afterglow" is AWESOME.  Anyway, we came home and I wasn't even beating myself up over the gimpy knee, the cold shower because the kids used all the hot water didn't even piss me off, and I sat on our couch with Patrick and just wanted to cuddle, talk and be close (WHAT????  Where did THAT come from?  I don't give a shit... just took advantage while I could!)

So, forgive my pissy writings, I'll try to mostly keep them to myself, but sheesh... I feel awesome.

(And yes, I've been diagnosed as bipolar before)

I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "I feel WONDERFUL!  What did I DO???  I must JOURNAL EVERY DAY!"

And no, I don't have the dedication or desire to be THIS buff (although I wouldn't mind a bit, its not my goal), but this woman, Dana Linn Bailey is hot as hell for some reason. And she reminds me of P!nk for yet another reason. In part, I think its just the personality and attitude... but there is something.  

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Charting Moods & Meltdowns

**Language Warning... 

So I decided to pay really close attention to my moods for a while, to chart what I eat (and when) what supplements I take (and when) and note my mood/frame of mind every few hours. It has seemed like I've been on a HUGE rollercoaster lately, and since I have no way of testing ANYTHING without money and really without insurance, I only have my own observations to depend on.

I swear, JUST the act of writing down how I'm feeling and paying close attention to my moods seems to help them stabilize. Maybe it makes me feel less crazy?? I don't know.

I just made a little chart thing in google drive:


Anyway, it was something I decided to do after just a little introspective observation... that was made after THIS mood-related-honesty yesterday:

"Its like if PMS lasted 3 weeks instead of one (so far), and made you want to kill someone in their sleep (or maybe when they're awake so it will last longer) for moving the fucking pepper that you use every single morning on your eggs so you have to go hunting around the damn kitchen like a dumb ass ESPECIALLY when there are only two fucking eggs left so you can't have your 1 egg, 2 egg whites like you always do and you want to start throwing all of the nice plates and bowls onto the tile just to hear the crash but you won't because then you'd cry because you're too damned cheap and even garage sale dishes cost too damn much and besides, then you'd have to spend time cleaning all the broken shit up and speaking of which, can anyone ever clean up after themselves? I mean, REALLY.

That is a tiny snippet from inside my head for about 3 minutes of my morning, with most of the cussing left out.

And if you have an actual solution that I haven't tried, feel free to suggest it. Keep in mind that I'm already taking supplements as in fish oil, liquid B12, women's multi-vitamin, liquid D3... I eat healthy foods and I don't deprive myself (I'm not hungry or craving things), I exercise daily, I'm still (heavily) perioding regularly, so I don't even think its "menopause" shit yet, either. At least today it was anger instead of sobbing. I guess that's something different, at least?"

Monday, February 11, 2013

WEIGH IN & Workout Update

Weigh In!


Day #1: 210 lbs, bf 40% 

Day #15: 203.5 lbs bf 39.5%

Day #31: 201 bf 38.4%


I needed to see this progress! I felt like I wasn't losing ANYTHING!  
I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting there!


The sports bra in pic #2 is actually tighter than the one in the 1st pic.  Hopefully can have the same clean clothes to photograph from here on out! :)
THIS is the type of thing I need to SEE.  Although in the midst of depression, things can look bleak, even I couldn't completely ignore these numbers.  It feels great to see progress!

I am keeping up with my workouts and getting stronger every week.

I can't tell you how exciting it is for me to see my improvements over time!

     
Day 1
Day 21 
 Through Day 31 (I think I have that right)

Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Mood Monster, The Diet Bet & Progress!!!

The Mood Monster
Oh my WORD, you guys, I don't know what is UP.  About a week ago, I started feeling really emotional.  I was really stressed out about finances (what's new), and things were getting tighter and tighter, but my moods seemed to be extreme, even for all of that.

Then my beautiful, blissful SLEEP went away.  Suddenly, instead of falling asleep without trouble at 10:30 or 11... I was still up, tossing and turning until 12:30 or 1:00 and then trying to force myself to sleep only to wake at 3:30 and then again at 5:00...

Yesterday was the worst of the worst.  I woke up feeling awful and I burst into hysterical tears no less than 8 times.  It was ridiculous, but I was losing it.  I kept running to the bathroom and sobbing into a towel.  Between times, I was mostly fine, but Sheesh!

My poor family probably felt like this
GIFSoup
THE GYM
We finally got our butts to the gym, but honestly, I was pretty drained.  I was feeling a little bit hopeless and just irritated.  I was determined to do my workout just out of pure stubbornness.  I think that my facebook page is keeping me accountable, even if I don't have that many followers, I am getting some nice feedback and those people are honestly helping me to stick with it!  The support already means so much. So I did it.  I went to the gym and I did a major bicep/tricep workout... OWW!!!

My Wednesday Workout


As you can see, I suck... really, completely suck at doing cardio.  My son, my workout partner already does an hour of cardio for gym class at school, so he doesn't need to do it, and we almost always have to leave for his practices/work, so I can't do them then.  This means that I need to get off of my ass and do my cardio during the day or *gasp* IN THE MORNING.  I really need to start doing that if I want to lose fat faster (and I DO)...

SO... I entered an online diet bet.  One of the facebook pages that I follow posted this diet bet, and my husband agreed that I should do it, so I entered.

The "bet" is to lose 4% of your body weight in 28 days.  Since it took me a few days to get my photo taken, I have 26 days.  This means that I really need to step up my cardio.  I'm losing body FAT right now, but I'm putting on muscle at a fast enough rate that without cardio, its not going to show on the scale.  Since one of my biggest goals and motivators is fat loss... I want to DO THIS THING!

Progress!!!
One of the things I had to do for the contest was take a before photo on the scales.  This meant that I had to get ON them.  My weight was 202.5.  Although this is only 1 pound down in the last two weeks... when I took my body fat %, I went from 40% to 38.5%!  So I'm losing fat AND gaining lean muscle.  I'm happy.

And sore.  If you want to see my weights/workouts since Sunday... here ya go!


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Tasty Tuesday BONUS: Menu Planning and Shopping List for Paleo/Slow Carb w/ Vegetarian Options w/Recipes

Making a Meal Plan for a Variety of Eating Habits

I am very thankful that my children are fairly open to trying new things, and they are all used to eating healthy foods.  I'm proud of the fact that my children (for the most part) have taken control of their health, researched the things that are important to them and made choices that they believe and adhere to.  Because of that, I am more than happy to work with them to encourage and support their nutritional choices, even when they aren't the same as my own.  Even if it takes a little bit more work... its well worth it, to me.

I'm not about scheduled meals or a strict "meal plan", but I like to have the options organized so that everyone knows what there is to eat.  I make a large batch of food so that we have leftovers and all of my kids know how to cook, so if they're hungry, they don't have to wait for someone else to make it for them.  I like to make a two week meal plan, then make a grocery list to go with each plan.  Then I can choose a meal plan whenever it sounds good and have the shopping list to go with it.




So, that's how it works for me.  I make a list of meals, then go through and make a list of groceries.  Fortunately, we almost always have the staples on hand, so it doesn't dent the budget too much (although this time, our cupboards were pretty bare, so the bill was higher than I'd like!).

How do you organize your meal planning and grocery shopping?  My favorite part about this method is that 2 or 3 months from now when I'm really swamped and busy, I can just reprint this exact plan and go shopping again without having to hunt down recipes and whatnot!

Links to some of the above mentioned recipes (Some I haven't tried yet, but I'll post them on my Tasty Tuesdays or Foodie Fridays for you as soon as I do!):
Mexican Soup (aka Taco Soup)
Enchiladas (although this week, we're buying canned sauce)
Smoothies (and check back later today for my "Tasty Tuesday" Smoothie recipe)

Let me know if you have any questions!  I've been doing this for so long, I tend to forget that there are things I should explain!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Dealing with Hormonal, Weepy Preteen Children...

The MOOD MONSTER

And, btw, NONE of us are morning people around here!!  

I have to post about this, because its caught me by surprise with most of my children... even though they ALL did it at about the same time.  If you have older kids, you probably know what I'm talking about.  The hormonal weepies.  No, I'm not talking about typical 'pms' or whatever, I'm talking about the time before all of *that* happens.  For my kids, it starts around age 10-11.  They suddenly, out of nowhere start having these totally uncharacteristic melt-downs.  Not throwing a fit, but suddenly, intense, emotional upsets over nothing.  Over anything.  Over EVERYTHING.   After struggling for nearly a year with my oldest, I finally spilled my frustrations on a message board I frequented about my nearly 11 year old daughter's constant melt downs.  My normally happy go lucky child was in tears over things up to ten times a day!  I was losing my mind!  I was sure I had to be the worst mother in the world.  What happened to my child??   As soon as I posted my worries on the homeschool mom message board, another mom posted and recommended Michael's Pre-Teen girl vitamins.  She explained that hormonal swings start way earlier than the whole 'pms' routine.  I was skeptical.  Seriously?  My 10 year old was basically PMSing without a schedule?  What?   Nonetheless, I was at my wits end.  I bought the vitamins within a week.  My non-pill swallowing daughter crushed up the vitamins and took it with a spoon of applesauce every morning, while I waited with baited breath.  The mood swings let up.  Quickly.  Within a week or so, the moody, tearful child wasn't crying over everything.  She wasn't freaking out over little things anymore.  She was back to her 'normal' self.  I was stunned.  Yes, it was that simple.  Actually, by the time 'real' pms started, it was a relief, because at least them we were on a regular schedule! What about the boys?  They hit the same emotional tribulations... albeit a little later, and their emotional mood swings tended to show up more as anger than crying, but still, the vitamins came out and helps again. Why this wasn't just something automatic for me at this point, I don't know.  We went through it again with Paris when she hit age 11.  

 

This was a "yucky food" face rather than a mood, but I thought it was fitting:)

All of this to say that it caught me completely by surprise on Sunday when we got ready to film and Abyni just burst into tears.  Patrick and I were confused.  She had been practicing with me happily just 30 minutes earlier... so what was up?  She didn't know, and asking just made her cry harder.  We decided to just shut everything down and take a break.  Although it is very important to us to stick to a schedule, our schedule doesn't come before our kids.  As much as we needed to film right then, I needed to find out what was up.  Since we needed to get groceries sometime anyway, I told Abyni that she and I would take a girl break and have some mommy-daughter time and go shopping by ourselves.

We got in the car and she said, "I don't know what happened, mom.  I was just standing there and my body said, 'okay, time to cry now' and I just couldn't stop."

*lightbulb*  

Oh my word.  Seriously?  FIVE kids and I don't catch on automatically with ANY of them!??  I explained the whole hormonal concept to her, then told her that we would just take a break, buy some chocolate and have some girl time.  We went grocery shopping and bought a pill crusher and some applesauce in addition to the chocolate, and all was well.  

We came home and she crushed up a vitamin and took it... and I think that just knowing that she could do something about the moodiness helped her feel a lot more in control.  I mean, come on ladies, don't you ever just feel completely lost in your own hormonal mess sometimes?  I know I do.  I can't imagine how out of control and downright confusing it must be to be an eleven year old girl and have no idea what is happening!  It is hard enough as an adult when I KNOW what the culprit is. To finish off my little novel here, by the time the groceries were put away, Abyni was ready to film the rhyming game and we had a great evening.   Just remember that when your child seems completely upset and out of control, maybe they just need a little reassurance that what they're going through is normal.  Maybe they need vitamins, or just a little extra attention or maybe they just need more sleep.  Try to look past the tears, the tantrums and see what the underlying issue is.  It is much easier to deal with the cause than the symptoms!  Besides, its not as if WE never have those moody days (try not to laugh too hard!)

Week 3 Check In Results & Workout, Transformation: Phase 2

Week 3 (My 21 Day Check in) 

Weight 202 (down from 210)  Lost 8 pounds!
Body fat 39% (down from 40%)  Lost 1%

NON Scale Victories?  Why, yes, I have those, too!
  • I haven't had even an ounce of alcohol since I started this challenge, and I have been so focused on my health, I haven't even wanted it!
  • I have been sleeping really well
  • I have managed to catch myself when I'm beating myself up or being negative and I've stopped the thoughts in their tracks.  (Sometimes this takes a bit, and sometimes it doesn't "stick" really well, but I'm on it!)

I'm starting phase two a week early.  I am a little weird about things  and I wanted to get my "months" within actual months.  I know, I'm strange.

Anyway, I've made up a chart for tracking this workout that puts everything together so you can easily see your progress.  This is from Jamie Eason's Live Fit Trainer on Body Building's site.  I just made a few tweaks, mostly because I need to be careful of my back and I don't want two full leg days as my legs are already bulkier than I'd like.   I made copies for my family members who are doing this with me so that they can keep track as well.

Last night was our first workout on Phase 2.  Both my husband and my sports loving 17 year old son went to the gym with me last night, even though we went right  after the Super Bowl started!  That's some dedication, right there!

I had to do assisted pull ups.  I needed 115 pounds of assistance!  Ugh!!!  BUT, that just ups my determination.  I will be able to do some unassisted pull ups by the end of this 12 week challenge!  I was actually sore by the time we left the gym, and was definitely feeling my lats this morning!  Yay for a great workout!

Then... I'll need new goals!

Anyway, I just wanted to share my workout with you... I've been keeping up and doing well!

Don't forget our February Squat Challenge!  I'm keeping up with that, too!




Sunday, February 3, 2013

PMS Monsters: Moods, Cravings & Food


Trivia Question of the Day:  What 'funny' dad/husband said this?


Wife:  "I think the hormonal fluctuation of PMS is screwing with my sleep.  I'm about ready to bawl my head off over everything."

Husband, "I kinda picked up on that a couple of days ago."

Hint: I didn't find it funny.

Yeah, it was my husband.  My generally awesome, amazing husband, who at times has 'foot in mouth disease'.

Thankfully for him, it was via email and I assumed he was being an idiot and not thinking.  If he'd been here in person, it could have easily led to tears or yelling.  Probably both.

I don't know what is up lately (yeah, I got it, I'm getting older, probably menopause type shit), but the emotional ups and downs have been crazy for me.  I have managed to pretty much avoid feeding my cravings, but I will say that after three days of craving sugar, I decided to allow myself a Snickers bar.  I actually bought one on Friday and then didn't even eat it until Saturday.

It was DIVINE... and it was ENOUGH!  That was a new one for me!  I was happy to have had it, I didn't beat myself up, I just enjoyed it and then that was ALL.  I didn't use that as a reason to beat myself up, or cave and eat everything in sight (something I've done in the past)... I just had a treat.  It was nice.  I felt good about having made a decision rather than just clinging to some hard and fast rule and I let myself BE.  I didn't fall apart and I didn't then cave on my whole journey to health.

I think I like this new me.  Listening to myself, being kind to myself and letting myself have weak moments without throwing the baby out with the bath water.

I feel victorious!

Source: indulgy.com via Allison on Pinterest

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is HUGE for someone like me!  I tend to be all or nothing, black or white, no in between... and even a small, tiny indiscretion would often have me giving up completely.  I'm growing up, y'all! :)

I am living by THIS motto now:

Source: indulgy.com via Ashley on Pinterest

Friday, February 1, 2013

Foodie Friday: Gluten Free Super Spicy Meat balls


Super Simple Super Spicy Meat Balls

*This is a repost from my blog 365 Days of Clean Eating

Ingredients:
**You can make these grain free as well!  Just leave out the cereal:)
2-3 cups of Gluten Free cereal.  I used Rice Squares.
1 pound of lean ground beef
1 Tbsp Chili Powder
1 Tbsp "Extra Spicy" seasoning from Mrs. Dash (you can leave this out, but I love these spices!)
1 Tbsp Crushed Red Pepper Flakes
1 can of diced tomatoes
2 eggs

I just crush up the cereal using my hands, but you can stick it in a food processor if you want.  I ended up pureeing most of the diced tomato when my picky girl said, "Ewww... you're putting tomatoes in it?" but you can usually just leave them in chunks.


I always bake meatballs on a wire rack in a pan to catch the grease, even with lean ground beef, this helps keep even more fat out.  I can't stand cooking ground beef where it is sitting in the grease... yuck.


Viola!  These were SPICY!!!  Dang!  I'm glad I made some without the crushed red pepper for Abyni and I because I took one bite of a spicy one and my mouth was on FIRE.  Of course Kainan actually ate his with extra hot sauce.  Go figure.  I served them with the goulash type dish that I kind of made up on the go.  It was a little liquid-y because I didn't get the beef broth until late in the game, but it was very flavorful!