Monday, December 24, 2012

Day #8-9 of my Awesome Transformation: OUCH!!! Sidelined!!!

Damn it!

Good News:  As of this morning, the Scale is moving DOWN!  I need to weigh at the gym to be sure, but my (somewhat out of whack) scale at home is down more than 5 pounds since last Monday!!!  I actually can't wait to measure tomorrow!

Bad News:  I was tooling around yesterday, being productive around the house.  I almost had the laundry caught up and I was in on my bed, pulling off the fitted sheet... I had just stepped up on the mattress and K came up behind me to scare me, just as I pulled and twisted just *wrong* and I felt a 'pull' in my back.


At the time I thought, "oops, that is going to hurt!" but I had NO IDEA how bad it was going to be. OUCH.  HOLY SHITBALLS!!!  

Last night I sat in my freezing cold room with an ice pack on my back for two hours and it was still hurting.

This morning I could barely get out of bed it hurt so bad.  Walking, sitting, standing, adjusting myself on the couch = HUGE AMOUNTS OF PAIN.  Damn it.

So much for working out.  Before I actually tried to move this morning, I was thinking, "Oh, I can still go to the gym, I'll just work out my shoulders and arms or something.  I'll just avoid using my back/core.  Um... No.  I feel a huge strain on my back doing ANYTHING.  &#$(@*^&)@#^$%#&@_$#  I was doing SO WELL.

Surely this will be better SOON, right?  I really wanted to enter the www.bodybuilding.com contest for body transformations.  I guess you can enter between now and January 31... I want to do this.  You don't have to buy anything to enter, so why not?  I could use the extra motivation!!!  Now, to see if Patrick is up for helping me *that* much!

What do you do for motivation?  What do you do to get past an injury?  I'm trying not to beat myself or be frustrated with myself for being so easily injured.  This is the last year that I am going to let myself be weak and out of shape.  From here on out, I am going to be the "Beast" that my son thinks I am!!!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Day #7 of my Awesome Transformation: New Workout Partners

Saturday, Day #7

Family Stuff
Today was an impromptu day.  My husband and my 16 year old were working all day.  A friend called and invited the two girls to hang out with her and some kids at another friends' house.  That left my oldest son and I home alone.

My 17 year old son is the biggest softie "mamma's boy" ever (he says when your mom is as much of a beast as his is, there is no shame in being a mamma's boy:) and loves one on one time.  I love spending time with him as well, he's a great conversationalist and we discuss everything under the sun.  So, of course, when he offered a day out, I jumped at the chance!  He's 17 and will be driving and dating soon... and even graduating and moving on with his own life.  You bet I'm taking every opportunity I get to spend time with him now!

We checked out the cheap theater and went to see "Here Comes the Boom"... it was light and fun, we both like Kevin James a lot, so it was a nice movie.  Then we went to Compadres and shared some chips and fajitas.  I shouldn't have had ANY chips, but I was completely NOT thinking.  I have to admit, I probably had 8-10 chips before my brain went, "HEY!  Stop eating those!"  Then I had the fajita fillings with some beans and no tortilla while Kainan scarfed down at least three, stuffed to the brim fajitas.  Oh, to have a teenager's metabolism again!

After that we headed home, stopping to pick up J at work.  We came home to Patrick laying on the couch looking like death warmed over.  He was "NOT SICK" but... yeah, he was.

The Workout:
So, since my personal trainer was under the weather, I took the boys to the gym with me.  It was almost as motivating as having Patrick there to kick my butt.  Both of the boys are SO competitive that they motivated me to keep going.  I made them warm up with me on the elliptical for 15 minutes, then we hit the weights.  Showing them proper form and counting through the bicep curls, hammer curls, barbell curls, standing tricep pull downs and pull ups (not sure what they're technically called:) and then 15 minutes of planks, push ups, tricep push ups and superman exercises felt awesome. 

I'm looking forward to another workout with them tomorrow while Patrick rests!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

When Working Out Makes you feel Pathetic

Holy shit balls.

So I went to the gym with Patrick tonight... and apparently he sadly over estimated my level of fitness.  He laid out the plan.  I was going to do 10 burpees (after a good warm up), then go hard on the elliptical for 3 minutes, then 10 burpees, then chill and go slow on the elliptical... repeat.

Anyway, I started on the warm up and good lord, the cramps started almost immediately.  Knowing that they tend to fade after a little bit of warm up, I decided to just keep going... and going.  The cramping was getting better until he upped my resistance and incline... and then it got worse.  Hip to toe, it seemed like every single muscle in my legs was knotted up in one hard knot of pain.  I tried going for a little bit and then it felt like I was going to literally tear something it hurt so much.

Patrick was standing there and asked if I was alright (this was literally in less and two minutes) and I said, "I think you are WAY overestimating how out of shape I am!"  He slowed the elliptical and asked what was going on and then told me to stretch.  Even stretching was painful as hell and I had tears running down my face.  Fortunately, I was in a downward dog type position, and I was sweating even more than I was crying, so I doubt anyone else knew, but it felt humiliating anyway.

I felt like a failure.  I had done two pathetic burpees and less than 8 minutes on the elliptical, and 6 of those were just slow warming up!

UGH!!!

Then he set me up on the treadmill and had me go slow for another 5 -10 minutes to warm up more slowly.  He checked on me every once in a while until I was ready to go at a higher pace.

Anyway, even longer story short, I ended up on the treadmill for about 45 minutes total (once I accidentally shut down the thing for a minute and restarted it), but I was really feeling shitty for not even being able to do 2 minutes on the treadmill.  I could see my reflection in the screen (I had forgotten my headphones, so there wasn't even anything to distract me) and I was so thoroughly upset with myself that it was all I could do to now just stand there and cry.

I hate how quick I am to think negatively about myself.  I hate how ingrained this negative self image is.  That may be the hardest part of this journey... learning to truly like myself and believe in myself.

What do you do to fight against that inner voice that is putting you down?

Day #5 of my Awesome Transformation: Insomnia Improving!


Insomnia:  It still took me a while to get to sleep last night, and although I woke late this morning, I felt like I had ACTUALLY SLEPT.  That is huge.  I still had tons of dreams and some of them were a little bothersome, but I slept!  Yay me!!!

Then I woke up to two huge piles of dog shit in the house because my kids all slept in, too.  No, I didn't just wake up to it, I STEPPED IN IT.  I must say that its a testament to the fact that I must have slept pretty freaking well, because stepping in a big pile of cold dog shit first thing in the morning didn't elicit either yelling or cussing from me.  Not even under my breath!  

Having big sweet dogs that apparently don't feel like they should wake the kids to let them out has its downfalls.  I think I'll scrounge around for alarm clocks for the kids for Christmas, because that was gross.

Working Out:  *emailing whenever with my P.T. a perk of being married to him?
Me:  What are we working on today? Just wondering.  I was going to plan on a PiYo either this afternoon or before bed...
Patrick:  Plan a strength-centric PiYo.  I'm going to make you hate me through the vehicle of cardio machines tonight :)

P.T. knowing when and how to best kick my ass?  A downside to being married to your personal trainer?  Or a perk?

I'll report back on how badly he kicks my ass later tonight.

For now I'm focusing on Goal Setting and Tracking Progress.  I'm trying to find the best way to track my progress, to make sure that I'm actually keeping up with things and paying attention to progress.  I am measuring every Tuesday.  I weigh every morning, but my scales are very crappy and can vacillate within 5+ pounds within the same two minute period, so I don't hold much with those.  In addition to that, though, I want to make sure that I track my strength as well.  A month from now, I want to be able to look back and see how much stronger I am... how much longer I can hold a plank or how many more reps/weight I can do with a particular exercise.  Being able to see progress is HUGE for me.  It is one of my biggest motivators.  After all, who wants to kick their ass day after day for nothing?  Not me.

Tracking:  I'm trying to decide if I want to stick with an online program like Fitocracy or Spark People, or if I just want to create my own printable workout logs and chart them on my own.  I like the idea of an online app, but I don't like the lack of choices when it comes to work outs.  Maybe I just haven't figured them out yet.  What do you use?  In some ways I'm almost partial to pen and paper.  I can always upload it into a google doc or something.  I don't know.  I can't figure it out!!!
I'd be happy with THIS size, and this was after I'd already gained nearly 30 pounds when my metabolism crashed on me.
Secondly, I'm trying to figure out What My Goals Are.  Because I don't have much of a clue.  I want to get back to my prior 'fit' state, but I don't know how to quantify that.  I also don't know what kind of time frame to put on any of it.  This is so confusing!  I definitely need goals, though.

For now, I'm going to make my Top Five CHANGES that I want to make:

  1. Drink at least four 52 oz. glasses of ice water every day
  2. Take my supplements EVERY morning
  3. Eat protein within 30 minutes of waking every morning
  4. Stop drinking alcohol & Change bedtime routine/habits and learn to sleep without it.
  5. Stick with exercise plan set by trainer and PiYo/Yoga at least 3-4 times a week, either for strength or relaxation before bed.

What are your goals?  If you don't have any set in stone yet, what changes do you want to make?   Let me know in the comments, and link to your blog if you're blogging about health, fitness, nutrition or weight loss!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Day #4: Part Two: Late Night Workout

Because of our schedules yesterday, we didn't have the opportunity to go to the gym until 9:30 last night.  Since Patrick gets up as early as 5:30 in the morning, I didn't expect to get to the gym.  He surprised me by coming home and getting ready to go.

We went to the gym at 9:30 and I hit the elliptical for 20 minutes for a warm up.  I felt fine, but my HR is still getting higher than he likes it.  Then he had me rest to see what my heart rate recovery was.  These are his notes:

20 Min Cardio on Eliptical.  HR @ end of cardio *after a cool down 156.  HR @ end of 3 Min rest 126.  Need to improve HR Recovery rate.

Front Raise @ 8 Lb @ 20 reps, three sets
Lateral Raise @ 5 lb @ 20 reps, three sets
Lateral shoulder abduction on cable machine @ 15 lb @ 20 reps, two sets
Front Pull-down (opposite of lateral raise) on cable machine @ 45 lb @ 20 reps, two sets.

Plank on hands to failure.  1 min rest. Plank on elbows to failure.  1 min rest.

Leg raise w/ hands under lower back - 10 raises followed by hold for 30 count, 10 more raises followed by hold for 30 count, alternating leg raises (scissors) @ 20 count, hold heels off floor to failure.

Hip raise with feet on Bosu ball to failure.

Side leg lifts x 20 followed by hold for 45 seconds, both sides.

Reverse flies on 45 degree stand, 20 @ 8 lb followed by 20 @ 5 lb

Front flies on cable machine @ 30 lb to failure (about 35 or so).

Stretch.

(I wish I had the time on the planks and hip raises, although I'm sure my planks were totally pathetic.  I can not believe how much strength and aerobic fitness I've lost.  Its a little depressing)

My legs were cramping up a lot during the hip raises and the leg lifts, but I managed to get through it.  I'm surprised that I'm not more sore this morning.

Alcohol:  Still NO cravings.  What the hell?  I've apparently hit that perfect mind/body/diet connection and things are going so much more smoothly!  Whoo Hoo!!!  This is significant and I'm very very VERY happy about this change!  Read more about alcohol's affect on your metabolism/cheat day/leptin levels.

Anyway... onto today, December 20, 2012, Day #5 of my Awesome Transformation!

Day #4 of my Awesome Transformation

Insomnia:  So last night was a little better.  I was really surprised that I had no craving for alcohol at all.  I wasn't even terribly panicked that I had NOTHING to help me sleep, not even "Sleepy Time" tea.  This is a big BIG change for me.  YAY!  I was still feeling incredibly overly sensitive (my poor husband), but I did eventually get to sleep around 2:00 am.  The night was still plagued with dreams... over and over and over.  I kept waking up feeling panicked or frustrated... but I was still able to fall asleep easier than the night before, so still, PROGRESS.  That is what I'm looking for in this journey, continued progress.

I won't have the opportunity to go to the gym with my husband until 9:00 or later tonight, so I'm going to go do a short workout DVD with PiYo for right now.  Just in case he's too tired to take me later... I have to get something in today!

I just finished PiYo #3 with my 12 year old daughter Abyni!  It was only 35 minutes, but we were both sweating, and we made it through all of the exercises.  Granted, I had to do the push ups and the mermaid poses on one knee, but I did them all!  I get SO bored when I'm exercising, but with this, I found that I was surprised when it was done!

 

I can certainly tell that although I still feel really really tired, I still have far more energy today than I did yesterday!  I got some laundry going, the dishes put away AND did some fitness.  

Things are only moving up from here!

Tomorrow I think I'll start making some concrete goals and habits that I want to develop.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Day #3 of my Awesome Transformation: Insomnia, Sore Muscles & PiYo

Insomnia:  I knew that giving up alcohol was going to severely affect my sleep, it always does.  The only question is how long it will keep disrupting my nights.  I don't do well on lack of sleep.  I'm a huge ball of stress and moods whenever I'm lacking sleep.

Last night I wasn't even close to tired until 1:30am.  I finally fell into a fitful sleep around 2:00am.  Just before 4:00, I was up again.  I kept thinking I was hearing noises... I thought maybe the kids left the TV on or someone was outside.  I got up, checked everything, found nothing and stumbled back to bed.  I had a few hours of tossing and turning and finally fell back asleep around 6-7.  I tossed and turned some more and finally woke up at 10:00.  I'm trying to stay positive, but man, I hate not sleeping.  All of that tossing and turning has left me feeling like I was hit by a truck.

Sore Muscles:  I pushed a little too hard with arms on Monday, and my triceps are SO sore that it hurts to bend my arms.  I'm going to go easy on them for a few days and work with PiYo for my core and legs.  I may hit the gym for some more elliptical.  That seems to be the best bet for right now as its easy on my knees.

I started my day with protein (eggs & cottage cheese), ice water, cinnamon capsules, liquid B-12 and my Ionix Supreme... and a lot of ICE water.  So yeah, I'm huddled up on the counch under a blanket with an ice pack on my right elbow, since that's the most sore.

I had PLANNED to do PiYo* today, but the combination of sore, exhausted muscles and hyper emotional self due to nightmares and lack of sleep just wiped me out.  I ended up crashing at 3:30pm and slept hard until 7:30.  My sleep was still plagued with nightmares, though, so even once I woke, I was groggy and feeling upset.  After bursting into tears in the kitchen, Patrick just held me and reassured me that this is common and we'll get through this, too.  I complained that I felt lazy and he said that I needed the rest so that my body can recover and we can hit it hard again tomorrow.

PiYo:  Is a combination of Pilates, Yoga and Ballet.  There are a variety of levels and intensity.  I have some that are more calming and more yoga like, and some that are crazy cardio intense with a lot of movement between poses.  I like them both, but I think today I'm going to keep it low key so my muscles can recover.

I got certified to teach PiYo a year and a half ago and taught for a little while.  I couldn't find a place to teach it, though, and soon my health problems and ensuing depression had me sidelined anyway.  It is a fantastic workout for people with joint issues.  You can take it at your own pace and it builds strength, especially core strength without any impact.
 

It sounds like nothing, even to me, but today all I accomplished was resting, doing two 30 second planks and some stretching.  That's all I had in me.  The difference this time is that I am still staying positive.  This isn't even a set back, its just a rest day.

Hugs to you and I hope you had a wonderful day!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Day #2 of my Awesome Transformation


Yay! Today I stayed really hydrated. I kept my 51 oz. Cup filled with ice water or cold water and was drinking all day. By the time I went to the gym I was half way through my 4th cup. That meant there was no cramping on the elliptical. My muscles were burning through the first 5-10 minutes, but then it was much easier. I got my 30 minutes in with little problem and I felt good.

Then we were going to work on legs, but my right knee is still a little... loose feeling, so I wasn't confident enough to do lunges. One of the leg machines were broken, so I did some machines that were like weighted squats and leg lifts.  I'm hoping to find the best exercises for strengthening my knees, as that is what sidelined me early this year.  I don't want to create any setbacks by choosing the wrong thing!

The last machine was freaking HARD.  I felt like I was going to throw up by the end of that.   Then I stretched for a while and we came home for some eggs and cottage cheese.

First Day at the Gym

After almost a YEAR off from working out, I am finally getting back to the gym!  I'm going to get back to myself!!!  (More on my backstory later!)

My upper body is SO sore!!! My husband aka Personal Trainer aka Patrick kicked my ASS at the gym yesterday.  Well, technically, I guess he kicked my upper body.  My ass didn't really figure into things.  I managed 30 minutes on the elliptical, even though my feet were killing me and I was listening to this horrific singer on The Voice... I still kept at it.  Then Patrick put me through several upper body work outs.  I don't even know what exercises I did because I was just in the zone and doing whatever he told me to do:)  I am going to start keeping track on fitocracy, though.  I want to see how far I've come 30 days from now and 60 days from now and... well, you get the picture.

I am feeling SO motivated and excited, though. I have been looking at body transformation photos from women over 40 and I'm inspired. I spent every minute at the gym picturing the "after" photos, especially when it felt like I couldn't possibly do another rep and felt like my arms were going to give out.

I didn't sleep worth crap last night. I didn't even fall asleep until 3:30. I do not know what I'm going to do about my sleep issues. I was hoping that the Armour would help with that, as that seemed to be a symptom that got noticeably worse around the same time as all of my other thyriod symptoms. I think that once I can get over the alcohol not being my sleep aid, the healthy slow carb/no grains eating plan will help tremendously with that. I just need to get through these first weeks without killing anyone. 

Challenge accepted.

Now its time to gear up for day two... lower body and maybe some cardio?  I plan to finish with some Bedtime Yoga that I found on this youtube channel and hope it helps with sleep.




I'm going to start uploading my own videos soon.  I'll be vlogging and doing some cooking videos with clean recipes as well.  Let me know what you'd like to see!